Haikus from Hell

Kelly the dalmatian haiku

2012-01-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

bad-tempered, gassy
pooch, more white hair than black spots
covering the couch

bit the neighbor's kids
and barked unpleasantly when
the ice-cream truck passed

obesity maintained
by stealing food from table
mostly crummy pet

knee (pads, caps, in the nuts) haiku

2011-12-12T13:58:00.002-07:00

mid-leg squishy friends
I would wear them everyday
but they're fashion don'ts

crazy patella
floating in front of two bones
who placed you there, then?

a violent act
often used to circumscribe
further violence

kidhood at Kmart haiku

2011-12-06T13:52:00.002-07:00

wafting popcorn scent
cherry or cola icees
mom wheels cart past them

parked in weedy lot
to purchase socks, gloves, school stuff
glean the wealthy shelves

K-Ranch jeans, cheap shoes,
cleaning supplies and watches,
look, blue light special!

kafkaesque haiku

2011-12-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

Shelley Duvall grins
pulls the covers up and tells
Woody how the sex was

moonlight in forest
badger searches for lost cave
where weasel judge lives

the pious monk Greg
awoke one morning to find
he was Buddha's nose

killer kittens haiku

2011-11-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

fluffy balls of fur
make cute little mewing sounds
slash your sleeping throat

funny little guy
batting around a cat toy
wants to eat your spleen

sweet whiskered faces
innocent eyes just a mask
for murder urges

Jerry Lewis Haiku

2011-11-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

Moonlight on barn door
a distant bird cry is heard
"Hey laaaaaady! ooopsie."

lazy mountain stream
three leaves drift in the current
one trips over log

winter's chill again
the face of snow in the clouds
saying "nyoooyyyy-durr!"

Jabberwocky haiku

2011-11-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

wan doth brillig day
creeb slithey toves to breakfast
beamish H-boy snores

wath scrabes do verze out
like gibrish kus on thiz blog
should be allig nord

juvenile haiku

2011-11-03T13:13:00.000-06:00

barely old enough
to stand on its own meaning
the poem rises

this drab metaphor
will be colorful meaning
in a few more reads

Jenny haiku

2011-10-28T09:21:00.000-06:00

eight six seven five
three o ny-ee-ine, eight six
seven five three o

just-in-time haiku

2008-10-02T10:24:00.002-06:00

mist across the lake
wolf howls in the near distance
the home team has scored

H-boy arrives home
checks refrigerator door
beer goes bad Tuesday

jury-rigged haiku

2008-07-31T09:53:00.002-06:00

scraping nature scene
from the bottom of my shoe
pebbles, grass and gum

full moon, waving trees
you know the drill--here a frog
jumps up, steals spotlight

inconvenient haiku

2006-09-15T10:04:00.000-06:00

H-boy's haikus re
his STDs make it hard
to date haiku chicks.

inverse relationship haiku

2006-09-15T10:02:00.000-06:00

the more poems h-boy
writes, the lower his name sinks
on Forbes richest list

idiot-proof haiku

2006-09-12T10:04:00.000-06:00

Language is key.
If it's not American
English, they won't read.

Next up, brevity.
Must be short enough to read
during commercials.

But most important:
If you want the big haiku bucks,
gotta sex it up.

irregular haiku

2006-09-12T10:02:00.000-06:00

As summer retreats
badger seeks water, food. Dines
in some odd places.

Zen-monk finds bargain:
ten-dollar winter coat, but
the sleeves aren't same lengths.

Spanish verb freaks out.
Needs completely different
root for its past tense.

I, haiku

2006-09-05T12:53:00.000-06:00

First law of haiku:
Haiku should do no harm to
its reader, ever.

Second haiku law:
Haiku should not compromise
its author's street cred.

Third law of haiku:
Whatever, dude. Buddha
says we should party.

Italian food haiku

2006-09-05T12:52:00.000-06:00

Wheat becomes pasta
pasta boils, softens some.
(But not too much, Al!)

Sausage, crisped nicely,
shiny admidst the onions,
red and green peppers.

And who was it who
figured out a circle of
melted cheese, bread, sauce?

heckler haiku

2006-07-14T09:06:00.000-06:00

spring wind across trees...
"Yo h-boy, get a life--I
belch better haiku!"

Whew, tough crowd tonight.
"Yeah, I remember my first
poetry workshop..."

H-boy sucks??? Hey, he
doesn't bug you at Walmart...
tell you how to greet.

Hickenlooper haiku

2006-07-14T08:59:00.000-06:00

Successful mayor,
though I suspect many votes
for him were "beer votes."

Could be governor,
staying put. He's already
jumped out of a plane.

Fixed downtown parking
then named Poet Laureate
for Denver--way cool.

horse haiku

2006-07-11T12:13:00.000-06:00

SPECIAL GUEST POET -- S. Gabrielle Frey

A horse walks into
a bar in Lamar oh sh*t
there goes our license.

(from an actual bar in the actual Lamar, CO with indeed, an actual horse)

helpful hints haiku

2006-07-11T11:15:00.000-06:00

That old used mousepad
can find new life in kitchen
opening tight jars.

Open bananas
from the other end--monkeys
figured this one out.

Don't buy cheap shoes or
beds--you'll be in one of them
nine tenths of the time.

horror movie haiku

2006-07-11T11:14:00.000-06:00

sultry summer night
rippled moon reflects on lake
fox showers alone

radioactive
soil resurrects badger
who seeks badger brains

deserted temple
haunted by ghost of poet
writes scary haikus

hellbent for haiku

2006-07-07T11:54:00.000-06:00

GET OUTTA MY WAY!!!
Summer light on the mountains--
Gotta write some poems.

Waning afternoon...
HOLY CRAP!! need twelve more kus
before martinis.

Moonight on temple,
poets race past. Do not impede
their top-speed haikus.

Howard (Borden, Cosell, the Duck) haiku

2006-07-07T11:53:00.000-06:00

Ur-wacky neighbor--
before Kramer--he'd torment
poor old Bob Newhart.

He's famed for Ali--
but Denverites remember
brick through the TV.

Regrettable film
adaptation, save Lea
Thompson's brief nude scene.

Gertrude Stein haiku

2006-07-01T08:04:00.000-06:00

Summer is Summer
frog is a frog is a frog
I'll make some iced tea

The pleasant Spring light
Alice B. prunes gardenias
Hemingway leaves soon

my publisher's note
arrives by late post--four words:
"Write some simple poems."

Golgotha haiku

2006-07-01T08:03:00.000-06:00

Do sinners always
come from towns with ugly names?
It must be a rule.

the kind of a place
where devils drive the buses
and monsters sell shoes

the mayor smells bad
but the city's prize gardens
smell twenty times worse

gist haiku

2006-06-27T10:09:00.001-06:00

some seasonal light
cricket on a temple floor
you get the picture

the air-hot or cold,
h-boy refers to something
inappropriate

you know, some nature,
some brief self-deprecation
we've been here before

gantry haiku

2006-06-27T10:09:00.000-06:00

the morning slant sun
draws crisscross patterns on the
skin of the shuttle

Florida Winter
oddly, snow has formed, condensed
on the chilled fuel tanks

the second tallest
thing around, it falls over
when first tallest leaves

goose juice vs. moose juice haiku

2006-06-21T20:43:00.000-06:00

I'm telling you now
never drink in your dreams, Bub.
The bottles get swapped.

The waterfowl tastes
that musky mammal malt brew
and honks in horror.

Musky mammal chugs
from waterfowl's light nectar.
Makes a yucky face.

girly-man haiku

2006-06-21T20:42:00.000-06:00

frankly, a poet
is a pretty suspect job
for a guy these days

the other grown men
sky-dive, windsurf, fix their cars,
h-boy writes haikus

my manhood might show
better if I stop writing
in lavendar ink

glad so glad for the gift of life haiku

2006-06-13T06:57:00.000-06:00

there is chocolate,
the feel of a perfectly
thrown nerf football

Beethoven's Seventh
and the pleasure of a short nap
outside in the breeze

6 cold cans of beer
and a turkey sandwich, chips,
the view of the hills

grieving haiku

2006-06-12T12:35:00.000-06:00

darkness and quiet
frog has hopped away somewhere
didn't hear him go

feeling my oats/age haiku

2006-06-02T09:40:00.000-06:00

first day of summer
h-boy wears shorts, preens for chicks
chicks do not notice

Friday evening
my brain conjures neon, drinks
body groans me to bed

woman stares at me
I smooth my hair, check mirror
oh, fly was open

fez haiku

2006-06-02T09:36:00.000-06:00

Somewhere, Morocco.
I'd like to buy a red hat,
put it on, blend in.

just the thing to wear
when next me and my posse
drive the tiny car

AND THIS JUST IN FROM SPIKE FARRELL:
fez haiku two

"I don't know the name,
but the fez is familiar"
will still get a groan

fits neatly in the palm of your hand haiku

2006-05-30T09:05:00.000-06:00

revolvers, knives, clubs
so many good graspable
ways to kill a guy

pen, pencil, crayon
so many handles with which
we can write our threats

yeah, well we all knew
that h-boy was gonna get
around to, you know...

Frankenstein haiku

2006-05-30T09:04:00.000-06:00

a season image
from someone else's dead poem
like a stolen head

midsection, nature
but not normal nature...it's
some talking lizard

the monster shuffles
off on borrowed jokey legs
to kill its author

flea circus haiku

2006-05-24T17:40:00.000-06:00

funny little tent
with its spider web trapeze
thimble for splashdown

tiny ringmaster
bravely sticks his head into
jaws of ant-lion

it takes five hundred
clowns to fill up that silly
orange plastic car

fossilized haiku

2006-05-24T17:38:00.000-06:00

in the future dust
paleontologists dig
poem up with lasers

buried by layers
of metaphor sediment
written geology

scraping through granite
and seventeen tiny bones
begin to emerge

Edgar Allan Poe haiku

2006-05-09T10:20:00.000-06:00

he hung with this guy
who had an OCD bird
repeated itself

stands on study shelf
with Sigmund and Albert E.
Albert kicks his butt

winter on the pond
the frog sleeps beneath the silt
still hear his damn heart

empathy haiku

2006-05-09T10:17:00.000-06:00

ticket on windshield...
who knows what kind of troubles
beset meter maids?

I step in dog poop.
What sad digestive patient
had to go outside?

Don't look for your shoes.
They are on my feet for at
least eleven blocks.

elbow haiku

2006-05-04T08:32:00.000-06:00

funny ulnar nerve
wraps around the outside bone
no protection -- wham!

Darwin must be right
those with unbending arms can't
eat enough pizza

some ache from tennis
some are victims of keyboards
h-boy's? self-abuse

evocative dreams haiku

2006-05-04T08:31:00.000-06:00

my bro-in-law Tom
and I race to catch ferry
to Nietzsche Island

in the locker room
I must make tossed salad for
Washington Redskins

gauzy misty room
someone snores by me in bed
it's Arnold Palmer

Ella Fitzgerald haiku

2006-04-20T22:27:00.000-06:00

the Germans loved her
ate it up when she mangled
Bertold Brecht lyrics

funny girlish voice
coming from this large woman
loved her with Satchmo

English degree haiku

2006-04-20T22:26:00.000-06:00

life preparation
study hard, go to college
just to write damn poems

very impressive
in job interviews--that line
on my resume

next life, forget lit...
follow Granny's career tip:
dermatology

dung beetle haiku

2006-03-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

what a metaphor!
do we not all spend our lives
building balls of poop?

Dudley Enos haiku

2006-03-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

he drove a T-Bird
with vanity plates--just the
letters D-U-D

his slack-jawed students
stared uncomprehendingly
as he read Sappho

I remember well
his one-breasted Amazon
impersonation

Dostoevski haiku

2006-03-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

Aloysha is saved
Smerdykov comes to bad end
Ivan: "brain fever"

Early day sunlight
glints off a giant cockroach
no, wait, that's Kafka.

A former girlfriend
said I was her Prince Mishkin.
(from "The Idiot.")

dust of ancient civilizations haiku

2006-03-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

Sumeria? or
maybe Babylon?, it still
clogs my sinuses.

that grit in my soup
could well have been scraped off of
some Aztec's sandal

a loud hearty sneeze
and I expel pieces of
Ramses from my nose

drinking salad dressing haiku

2006-03-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

whether vinaigrette,
thousand island, spicy ranch--
a shotglass will do

the juice that remains
after the veggies are gone:
vinegar nectar

poor sad haikuboy
no one will kiss him post-lunch
but, mmmmmmm...oniony!

dance of the dictators haiku

2006-03-10T17:19:00.000-07:00

Ben Mussolini
enjoyed bacon panini
South of Rimini

Smiling Chairman Mao
wasn't winning at pai-gow
didn't mind somehow

Old Man Pinochet
sat by the dock of the bay
humming Marvin Gaye

Canada haiku

2006-03-06T13:15:00.000-07:00

long porous border
sneaky Yanks cross in the night
look for low wage work

proud of mosquitoes
large enough to carry off
pomeranians

just two words: Neil Young
two more: Robertson Davies
oh yeah: back bacon

castration haiku

2006-03-06T13:14:00.000-07:00

sensitive subject--
men will always wince taking
the cat to the vet

eunuchs world over
can't help but become bitter
give kings bad advice

catalogue of catastrophic catcalls haiku

2006-03-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

"Hey good looking! We'll
be back to pick you up la-
ter." -- M. Microphone

"It would be my great
pleasure to have unmarried
sex with you." -- h-boy

"Is that a Harley
Davidson wrench or are you
just glad to see me?"

Coppola movies haiku

2006-03-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

a single housefly
advancing tentatively
across Marlon's head

line of elephants
walk across a skyscraper
romantic Tokyo

sheet of newspaper
wrapped around bullet-proof vest
wrapped around fish

censored haiku

2006-02-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

moonlight ______ _______
embracing ___ _____ goat
on the temple floor

_______ ______ ______
as ice continues to melt
_____ ____________

warm afternoon light
____ convention ___ dentists
plaque award _____

curse of the compact car haiku

2006-02-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

my canoe paddles
into this small quiet shoal
between two cruise ships

my pony and I
sometimes get boxed out by the
other's elephants

enough metaphor--
why do you need three-ton cars
to go to Safeway?

beat the dog haiku

2006-01-31T10:06:00.000-07:00

neighbors for cocktails
wind is audibly broken
I've no other choice

eating on the couch
soup spills into the cushions
someone must be blamed

my wife arrive home
"Who finished the wedding cake?"
sprinkle crumbs on him

beast wishes haiku

2006-01-25T11:42:00.000-07:00

raining for a week
if only the Black Lagoon
could be cheerier

I'm glad of my change
but wish that my butler was
still a talking clock

the blond girl was great
but I'd have dropped her post-haste
for a HUGE brunette

brick wall haiku

2006-01-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

moonless winter night
the metaphor is so thick
crash right into it

wind riffles the pond
blind man, drive-thru ATM
(instructs in Braille)

old shack in mountains
elk use it as a restroom
meaning lost on me

backyard nudity haiku

2006-01-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

with the porch light off
summer evening after dark
that's the correct time

on too warm nights, though,
that "thighs peeling off deckchair"
noise is quite loud

in the buggy months
one must dip tender things
in the can of deet

Bill Bixby haiku

2006-01-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

though a widower
he lived an excellent life
as bachelor dad

after son grew up
there was a short-lived stint as
a magician/cop

I sometimes wonder
whether Eddie thought of Lou
Ferigno as "dad"

anvil haiku

2006-01-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

no matter how big
or round the rock, this is the
preferred head payload

nothing serves as well
in an archetypal sense
to drop on one's bean

with apologies
to Monty Python--better
than a giant foot

assclown haiku

2006-01-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

in our confused time
we've come to worship chairs
envy those that sit

in fact, the best jobs
are thought to be behind desks
instead of oxen

that is, until they
assign me a powerpoint
about oxen butts

abolish haiku

2006-01-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

frankly, haikuboy
wonders why the ban hasn't
already happened

what we'd have to do
is cut it off at the source:
arrest Zen poets

alcoholic slushie haiku

2006-01-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

strawberry flavored
the kind of berries made by
DuPont Chemical

a strange hue of red
exotic, like the color of
electrified beets

big ass waterpark
in Sheboygan sells them in
big ass quart servings

Antwerp haiku

2006-01-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

so evocative
strange name puts me in mind of:
hmmm...nope...just Tom Shane

apparently one
can buy a crapload of gems
with great ease there

wouldn't bet that the
average American
could spell or find it

archaeopteryx haiku

2006-01-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

scary dragon bird
unlike ol' Quetzalcoatl
left us some fossils

basically just
kind of a freaky giant
feathered lizard thing

study it for long
enough and you start to get
creeped out by parrots

Zarathustra haiku

2005-12-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

did he get to name
Zoroastrianism
or did it name him?

Nietzsche mentions him
but it took Stanley Kubrick
to a-list this name

would wear a loose bra
pied-a-terre in Moosejaw
wooed Jello Biafra

Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz haiku

2005-12-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

clever Ted Geisel
did not need a damn zebra
for his alphabet

green or red tummies
or blue, big buck teeth, fuzz head
he would not eat you

like so many Suess
characters, his name is way
fun to say out loud

zen monk haiku

2005-12-21T11:20:00.000-07:00

Gum-Bo, the seeker
of truth, would only eat soup--
his teacher liked soup

Fu the wanderer
came at last to the temple
but forgot password

Sadhana is best
achieved in a hot tub, said
the wise Master Steve

Zeezo the Clown haiku

2005-12-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

Blinky may have had
the TV show, but this dude
owned birthday parties

no supermarket
would dare grand-open sans his
balloon animals

heard from him last month
he's retired to SoCal
living a Zen life

Zam Zam Room haiku

2005-12-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

tiny bar: ten seats
don't try to sit elsewhere though
"tables are all closed"

Bruno tended here
made a decent martini
took crap from noone

drink up silently
don't exhibit irony
kick your ass right out

zebu haiku

2005-12-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

an odd beast so named
to give zebra a rest in
the alpha list work

strange looking Asian
cow--this guy has a big hump
over his shoulder

meat and milk aren't good,
but it does resist ticks well
unlike haikuboy

yams(old) haiku

2005-12-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

third snow of the year
bought those tubers in August
must taste quite mealy

still, brown, crinkly
they mock us from the basket
only food in house

phone up the Pigboy
we ride out for burritos
before the lunch rush

Yeti haiku

2005-12-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

the reason she would
kick Bigfoot's ass: she's tougher
lives three miles up

hunting a sherpa
for your lunch is much harder
than some lost camper

abominable
snowmen actually work
as her assistants

YOINK! haiku

2005-12-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

the sound Monty Burns
makes leaning over to grab
Lenny's front tooth bling

the sound Curly makes
when he plays to grabnosing
with Moe and Larry

the best word to say
when the jaws of life at last
pry your body free

yada-yada-yada haiku

2005-12-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

haikuboy pursued
a college education
      .      .      .
now he blogs haikus

there was discussion
of med school, maybe the law,
      .      .      .
started a poem site

got married, had kids,
house, car, dog, ukulele,
      .      .      .
a to z haikus

Y2K yak haiku

2005-12-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

for a brief moment
it seemed that Mongolia
might just rule the Earth

where economies
fail for the lack of digits
the ox trade stays strong

a few programs did
eat it as expected but
fewer livestock crashed

Yiddish haiku

2005-12-06T17:38:00.000-07:00

yank your yarmelkeh
you yeshuvnikeit yukel
yield to the yachsen

yeneh velt yoysher:
yungatsh meets yefayfiyeh
while yenta gets yutz

yo-yo, when written
backwards becomes an ethnic
expression: oy-oy

xenophobia haiku

2005-12-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

night at the border
watchman spies through his binocs
other side's watchman

we always fear
foreign languages unless
they sound like English

stranger in the dusk
wearing red lederhosen
I do not trust him

x-rayed xylophone haiku

2005-12-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

middle-age snapshot
a cage around suspect lungs
bars of even bones

the beating drum heart
keeps time for the skeleton
to play the mambo

science proves to us
we carry a set of vibes
with us at all times

xenon haiku

2005-11-28T16:57:00.000-07:00

noble noble gas
I picture a purple glow...
weighs more than argon

the exotic name
conjures outer space discos
weighs more than krypton

if the haikuboy
had to be an element
he would pick this one

x-rated haiku

2005-11-28T16:56:00.000-07:00

winter afternoon
seven porn mags on table
what will neighbors say?

h-boy's sick fetish
his perverse haiku groping
best to turn away

the name of this blog
its links to obscene proverbs
someone should get fined

xerox haiku

2005-11-22T13:33:00.000-07:00

like Kleenex before
this name became the same as
the item it named

instant collation
of two hundred powerpoints
these are magic times...

the early cavemen
would gape in terror at how
fast we can copy

X-Men (a request from Mr. Hagenbrok) haiku

2005-11-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

retractable claws
like Wolverine, his glasses
always on (Cyclops?)

I don't think he can
bend magnetic fields, but he
does twist metaphors

don't know where he lives
or what kind of work he does
Neil is a mutant

Who is it? haiku

2005-11-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

cartoon handyman
climbing stairs with heavy tools
bird answers his knock

he ID's himself
"plumber...come to fix sink"
bird has no response

impatient reknock
bird and man repeat themselves
this will not end well

weatherproof haiku

2005-11-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

autumn, the rains come
frogs will choose sleep in the mud
time to wax the deck

winter storm blanket
my cottage enwrapt in white
does the roof still leak?

wind howls under the door
I must leave tavern, head home
more antifreeze please

worst case scenario haiku

2005-11-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

lake breaches levee
whole neighborhoods are deluged
asshole clown in charge

what? haiku?

2005-11-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

winter light obscured
windows mold with ice--I am
as clueless as you

the song of crickets
my companion speaks to me
can't hear a damn thing

friends are underwhelmed
thought at least haikuboy would
finish short stories

waffle haiku

2005-11-10T12:55:00.000-07:00

bright August morning
the toaster pops, produces
twin discs of pleasure

unique surface of
this crenellated pastry
good traction for teeth

each boxy indent
a potential hiding place
for butter, syrup

Wayne Coyne, Manor, 's World haiku

2005-11-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

mad singer in white
his painful tenor enchants
me and my stuffed bears

billionaire's mansion
butler, limo...usual
must spelunk for more

cable access gods
your mullets do not impede
your taste in chicks. SCHWING!

vision of Barney the Destroyer haiku

2005-11-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

nappy purple fur
blank smile of oblivion
he will kill us all

I love you, you love
me, we're the many-armed beast
of armageddon

his image haunting
my feverish dreams--god, don't
click the link above!

very vapid haiku

2005-11-04T11:26:00.000-07:00

I'm wearing my blue
shoes, Vanderbilt jeans, and my
cute, y'know, pink top

It's so hot today
When is the home team playing?
Want to see my scar?

"He is a good man,
a man of great character"
(not indicted yet)

vestibule haiku

2005-11-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

further in than porch
not quite into the foyer
under the transom

I think I carried
at least two objecting girls
past threshold to there

one of the few parts
of my house or yours that can
rhyme with testicle

Valdez haiku

2005-11-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

before he dated
my sister, he dated a
women named "Sister"

first name is David
but to me he is his last
name personified

proudly drank Bud Light
called every person
he cared for "Bubba"

Velvet Underground, Revolution, Fog haiku

2005-10-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

Lou Reed may be your
hero (why not?) but Nico
is my role model

How cool must it have
been to stand up to Russia
with a bunch of plays?

Mel Torme is dead.
I will likely miss him more
than Jim Morrison.

vicious voles haiku

2005-10-31T10:09:00.000-07:00

more ratlike than, say,
ferretlike, they may be cute
but watch out, they bite

a decent sized one,
say, big as a football--
chew your foot right off

twilight out of dusk
a hundred creeping vermin
run for your poor life!!

ulterior motives haiku

2005-10-27T09:57:00.000-06:00

some think haikuboy
writes this crap for love of form.
nope. just to get chicks.

nobody just writes
poetry for its own sake
they write for the dough

poets know the score
a big payday results from
skillful metaphor

Utah? UTAH! haiku

2005-10-27T09:56:00.000-06:00

Nickname: Beehive State.
There more to it than mormons?
Bet yer ass there is.

Pretty to look at
but can you get a drink there?
Hell yeah. Sweat it not.

Oddly-shaped state map
big lake--anything else there?
Sure 'nuff, effing a!

underpants haiku

2005-10-24T12:30:00.000-06:00

invariably
when my poems use this word
it's gratuitous

no funnier term
for this--not boxers, panties,
briefs, skivvies, drawers

freshly laundered ones
folded neatly are in fact
even funnier