Velvet Underground, Revolution, Fog haiku

Lou Reed may be your
hero (why not?) but Nico
is my role model

How cool must it have
been to stand up to Russia
with a bunch of plays?

Mel Torme is dead.
I will likely miss him more
than Jim Morrison.

vicious voles haiku

more ratlike than, say,
ferretlike, they may be cute
but watch out, they bite

a decent sized one,
say, big as a football--
chew your foot right off

twilight out of dusk
a hundred creeping vermin
run for your poor life!!

ulterior motives haiku

some think haikuboy
writes this crap for love of form.
nope. just to get chicks.

nobody just writes
poetry for its own sake
they write for the dough

poets know the score
a big payday results from
skillful metaphor

Utah? UTAH! haiku

Nickname: Beehive State.
There more to it than mormons?
Bet yer ass there is.

Pretty to look at
but can you get a drink there?
Hell yeah. Sweat it not.

Oddly-shaped state map
big lake--anything else there?
Sure 'nuff, effing a!

underpants haiku

invariably
when my poems use this word
it's gratuitous

no funnier term
for this--not boxers, panties,
briefs, skivvies, drawers

freshly laundered ones
folded neatly are in fact
even funnier

Uncle Chester's memorable sight gags haiku

his glasses askew
hair mussed, diagonal mouth
"I'm a Picasso!"

accomplished master
of the classics: got yer nose
and ouch! broke my thumb

to this day, when we
shake hands he bounces as if
my grip was that strong

uvula haiku

doctor's deadpan word
to sexpot Babs: "Care for it.
It'll behoove ya."

ululation will
at least in cartoons cause it
to dance like a snake

still, for all the fuss
one can't help wonder just what
the hell it is for

Ukiah haiku

I've never been there
know nothing about the town
but, who can resist?

used to know a guy
from up there, not that well, but
couldn't pass this up

north of Cloverdale
quiet town--is it in fact
the anti-haiku?

tabloid headlines haiku

Bigfoot Weds Yeti
Infant Born Wearing Pope's Hat
World's Fattest Mayor

Yeti Weds Pontiff
Bigfoot Baby Born in Spain
World's Fastest Milkshake

Bigfoot Elected
Infant Yeti Born to Pope
World's Lamest Haiku

tangential thoughts haiku

steamy August night
lying awake I think about
Superbowl Thirteen

chill morning light
October memories of
this time I burned toast

today at dinner
I remembered how to recite
the Wilbik Tree poem

true true haiku

Yo, what is up, G?
Watching the game drinking cheap
crappy canned lager.

is it funnier
when spoken by Superman
or well-hung squirrel?

none of it truly
happened - it's just some people
selling you a beer

that darn haiku

the garden party
shocked by penis reference.
rascally poem!

masturbation line
disturbs matrons' enjoyment.
verse, you are a scamp!

mean old man Fergus
has his plan ruined by this
clever metaphor

the haiku

difference between
a frog and Michigan J.,
specificity

first, original
or ur-haiku alone can
call itself this

would Marvel comics
or DC have use for this
new superhero?

Ted Kazsinski haiku

aviator shades
worn with a hooded sweatshirt
Unabomber chic

wrote him a letter
posted to his jail cell
(no return address)

store-bought haiku

running out of time
haikuboy picks convenience
over handmade verse

Monday's special deal
3-for-1 scratched, dented poems
can't pass up bargains

tart them up a bit
add a dash of metaphor
peel off the price tag

sort of solipsistic haiku

Exercise can cause pain.
To stay thin we must work out.
More donuts for me.

Smoking is bad for you.
Smokers are all sent outside.
Outside is bad for you.

Religion is good.
Poptarts are worshipful too.
Is Hell a toaster?