nerf football haiku

perhaps my totem
in the toy world--the best
were the two-toned ones

to a small shy boy
afraid of all contact sports
this soft ball gave hope

warm autumn morning
my dad gives it a deep squeeze
throws a perfect pass

New Caledonia haiku

a WWII port
obviously liberated
by McHale himself

then there was that time
that Parker dropped depth charges
on Leadbottom's jeep

no haiku cycle
can be called complete sans one
Borgnine reference

neighbors from my past haiku

Durant Avenue
Sukhdev, from apartment six,
asks to borrow fork

Norwood Circle flat
enjoyed Leslie's soft sweet moans
through the bedroom wall

Pine Street apartment
Catholic Ginny downstairs
did not like my poems

Nixon haiku

of modern era
presidents, he is surely
the funniest one

the growly low voice
the jowl shaking tic--fun
to impersonate

he resigned, wisely
spared the country some pain
and taxpayer dough

Ms. Milavec, my ninth-grade English teacher haiku

she read us Macbeth
and assigned science fiction
truly a hip chick

unassuming woman
well educated and no
criminal record

sure she taught us poems
but she is not liable
for these damn haikus

murphy bed haiku

cool bachelor pad
knock twice on the chesterfield
mattress drops from wall

source of classic gags
hapless hero tries to sleep
folds up like drawbridge

mayonnaise haiku

slippery white food
turns ordinary tuna
into sandwich gold

must have been dreamed up
by a god big enough to
eat the universe

monster mash haiku

working in his lab
late one night, Boris beheld
a dancing zombie

out from his coffin
gentleman named "Drac" requests
Transylvania twist

mission impossible haiku

stand back Mr. Smith
this haiku will self-destruct
in seven seconds

moose haiku

welcoming antlers
home to squirrels and other
critters, poor Thidwick

totem animal
of one of my favorite
people in the world

live haiku

epiphanic dream
my dad comes back to tell me
"life is for living"

lurk haiku

nighttime hunkers down
reading lamp is toggled off
noise under the bed

surface of the sea
I fear for my submerged legs
something just brushed past

Lend-Lease Act of 1941 haiku

pretext to world war
or just helping some allies
only Franklin knew

one of those great facts
American history
makes us remember

tanks and planes and stuff
basically given out
free from Uncle S.

L.L. and L.B. and L.L. Bean haiku

a streak in the sky
Superman off to see Lex,
Lois, or Lana

Lenny Bruce, Lester
Bangs, or Leonid Brezhnev
not Lippy Baboon

too hot summer days
but my latest catalog
is filled with fleecies

lesser of two evils haiku

the front door opens
should I stay or should I go
cold out, cold within

another brown cloud
my car too is culpable
but the bus has left

I don't make you read
sections of my damn novel
just haiku instead

lyrics misheard haiku

'lectric guitar riff
Hendrix begs our indulgence
while he kisses guy

a popular song
Simon asks mom not to throw
chromasones away

two-chord rock classic
all Joey, DeeDee want is
a piece of date bread

lobster haiku

bitter crustacean
with the one large red handshake
not that friendly though

dappled undersea
one scuttles up to other
transaction occurs

cabin in Maine
brother in law picks one up
waves it in my face